Peter Hedges knows how to tell stories about families. A few years ago he turned out what is my favorite Thanksgiving film, Pieces of April. Many years ago he scripted What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, another family centered film. Those films fit more into the Indie category. Now he goes more conventional with a Disney film, Dan in Real Life. The shift to mainstream may have taken a little bit of the bite out of his presentation of the contemporary angst in American family life, but there is still plenty here to help us see the way that families make life more bearable, even when they often make life impossible.
The story centers on Dan Burns, a widowed father of three girls (two are teenagers). Dan writes a parental advice column for the newspaper. Naturally, this giver of advice could use a bit himself. As his youngest daughter puts it, he’s a wonderful father, but not a very good Dad. He takes his daughters to Rhode Island for an extended family gathering—Dan’s parents, a couple of brothers, a sister and sundry nieces and nephews. It is a family like many. It may have some rather quirky dynamics, but it is certainly supportive for their kin in need. And at this point, Dan is in need—even if he doesn’t know it.
What makes this time unbearable for him is that he has gone into town and met a woman in a book store and they immediately connect emotionally. This is the first real connection for Dan since his wife died four years earlier. But soon, he is introduced to his brother’s new girlfriend, and of course, it’s the new woman he has met. To spend a weekend in such close quarters is almost more than they can deal with. Their attraction to each other is a direct conflict with the values and love of the broader family. They keep all of this a secret. That dishonesty eats at them and the family bond.
“Family values” is a grossly overused term. It is often used to lionize the traditional at the expense of other manifestations of family. And although the Burns family in Dan in the Real World is a traditional family, it is not that structure that is the focus of the film. This is a family that is good-naturedly competitive, that teases humorously, that cares about each other. It’s not without problems, but no family is. In his films, Hedges manages to present very believable families—families that viewers can identify with. It is by making such accessible families that Hedges is able to point to the true values that can sustain us.
Dan, because of his own troubles, loses focus on those values for a bit. He takes some of the younger children to see a lighthouse and gives them a wonderful lesson about the way the light keeps us from crashing on the rocks. In a way, he sees himself as that light, trying to protect his daughters. But his own life is crashing in on him. It is only by recovering his sense of family as his light that he is able to find his way to something new and life giving.
Compared to Pieces of April, this film is somewhat predictable and sentimental, but in a pleasant sense. That is, balanced with witty dialogue, wonderful performances, and enjoyable family moments—family moments that we might all wish to be blessed with.
