Peter Jackson, director of the Hobbit movies, regretfully told audiences that the original Shadowfax will not be in the movie. Hushed boos with muffled groans could be heard throughout the whole Chicago arena as he told the 1,000 member crowd that Shadowfax will be replaced with a different character, White Beauty. The news preceded three hours of questions from the press and belittled fans, as Peter had to calm them down individually and make other half-promises that did not seem as exciting. Even with the guarantee of the Hobbit horse Bill, Roheryn (Aragorn’s horse), and Arod being in the movie, the audience still demanded Shadowfax.
The Internet burst into flames as blogs and endless rant columns began to criticize the lack of Shadowfax in the film. Reviewers began to minimize the movie as “Heartless,” “Souless,” and “Missing the one piece to rule them all.” Certain Shadowfax sympathizers are encouraging others not to see the movie as protest. New Line Cinema is projecting a two million dollar loss because of this decision.
Peter Jackson argues his point, “He doesn’t belong in the movie. He doesn’t fit my vision. Besides, Shadowfax got way too big for his hooves when he started demanding 3 million dollar contracts and 10 K just for appearances. This new horse is more humble and able to work with the cast more smoothly.”
But still, the audiences are demanding Shadowfax to be present and at the forefront of the movie. The Shadowfax fanfic group Shadowficfax.net is making a petition letter to get Shadowfax into the film by any means possible. So far the petition has gotten 500,000 signs for the white horse to be in it.
The president of the fan club says, “Get rid of the Hobbits, get rid of the trolls or even get rid of Gandalf, but not Shadowfax. That horse was the glue that held the fellowship together.”
Even with the outcry of so many Shadowfax fans, White Beauty is going to be replacing him without negotiation. This decision was made in 2009 when Peter Jackson had to pull the famed horse from a Taiwanese strip club at 3am to finish the shooting. “That was the moment that I learned that Shadowfax is just too costly to be on the team. He is like the Tom Cruise of horses. It is hard working with a sober horse—try stinking drunk. We tried selling him to the Harry Potter company, but even they wouldn’t take him.”
With all this pressure to have Shadowfax in the production, White Beauty is a little reluctant to be in the film. “She knows she isn’t the first pick,” Harold Rhymer, her personal agent explains, “but she is going to be the best representation of a white wizard horse she knows how to be. She has the heart of Anne Hathaway and the vigor of Liam Neeson.”
To make matters worse, some extremist Shadowfax groups like The Shadows of Fax and One Horse To Rule Them All have been more hostile in the dealings of this news. White Beauty has received constant hate mail and threats for her to gallop out of town. In one instance, White Beauty found a goblin head in her bed. It took three counselors to get her back into production.
“It’s horrible,” Peter Jackson rants, “White Beauty is going to lose her taste for Hollywood because of the cruelty of Shadowfax fans. It’s not fair. We gave you money suckers Elijah Wood, what more could you want?”
Meanwhile, Shadowfax fans are more interested in his next production, McKenna’s Magical Unicorn, which is set to be released with the Magical American Girl Series. That movie, which had a humble budget of $60,000, is slated to make over twelve times its outcome. The directors are already planning to make a trilogy with each movie being three hours long.
“We know what we want,” A Shadowfax fan describes, “That horse was everything to the movies and now we think this American Girl movie is going to be ten times better than The Hobbit. They really shot themselves in the foot.”
In other news, Viggo Mortensen waits by his phone patiently.
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