Why do people become physical or sexual abusers? I wish I knew the answers to that, I have suspicions but no clear cut answers. This morning is an easy day to speculate. One thing we know from research is a high number of individuals who have been abused as a child become abusers. I think the reason for this is the lack of understanding as to appropriate sexual activity. Imagine, growing up, being abused from a small age, and then never having the appropriate sexual perspectives developed or taught. In the realm of psychology there is a concept called behaviorism, I am a behaviorist. I think people largely learn their behavior from their experiences. I would have had a good time conversing with the author of this concept, BF Skinner.
Then there are those who are physically abused. Can you imagine learning from a very early age that violence is the answer to your problems? That violence is the way to make correction, and get your point across? Yet, this is the very thing people learn. I am not talking about spanking; there is a difference between a spanking and a beating. The way spankings are carried out, the attitude of the person giving the punishment or correction is of critical importance. Punishment should not be handed out in anger if at all possible. I will be clear, it is important to discipline children, and one appropriate method I believe is via spankings. I could say a lot here, including I have been far from perfect with my own children in this area. I am a firm believer that hands are for loving and should never be used to discipline a child. I know a long conversation could happen here. Maybe someday I will do an article on the subject, but for today, this is not the point of my thoughts.
Here is my thought today; it is so easy to be critical of those who have been abused, it is so easy to be critical of abusers. I know the victim is the innocent person; I also know that without appropriate help the likelihood of a victim to become an abuser is high.
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